


Haunt Me

by lumos_max



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Depression, Ghost Neil Josten, Grief, M/M, Post canon, Tragedy, Unhappy Ending, but also not- depending on your pov, ghost!neil, implied suicide, its sad i am sorry, offscreen major character death, one explicit reference to offscreen MC death, references to self harm, timeline non-existant but they're still at psu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumos_max/pseuds/lumos_max
Summary: Neil got up to sit right in front of Andrew, phantom hands floating above Andrew’s knees, staring into his eyes, eyes that looked as dead as Neil was.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 7
Kudos: 83





	Haunt Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all!!!
> 
> Due to 'some' demand, I'm posting this fic which I wrote a while ago on tumblr, back in Oct 2016. But it now so happens to be spooky season, which feels much more appropriate of a time to put something like this out there.
> 
> Majority unedited, as I just wanted to share what I wrote, not rewrite it. It had a life of its own when I wrote it. Attempted to fix any glaring issues but yes, mostly unedited (which is rare for me as I tend to overly edit)
> 
>  **PLEASE HEED THE TRIGGER WARNINGS IN TAGS!**  
>  \- references to self harm  
> \- implied suicide  
> \- suicidal themes  
> \- offscreen major character death
> 
>  **2016 Prompt:** haunt me, andreil, make someone a ghost.

Besides the sound of the wind making the curtains thud against the window, the room was silent. 

There was someone on the bed with the covers pulled up to their chin, facing the door with their back against the wall. It would have looked like they were sleeping if not for the fact that their eyes were open and staring blankly at the closed door.

Neil moved closer from his place at the window to sit down in the empty chair opposite the bed. He made as much noise as possible with his movements, hoping for anything.

_ Maybe he’ll hear me this time. _

The bed stayed still.  Neil sighed and glanced over at the closed door.

_ This is all my fault _

Just as Neil was about to open his mouth to say something, not that it would've made any difference, there was a soft knock on the door before it opened.

Nicky stood in the doorway, hand still on the doorknob, twisting it worriedly instead of coming into the room.

“Andrew.” Nicky said weakly.

Andrew didn’t move but that wasn’t surprising since he stopped moving for anything besides the bathroom days ago.

“Would you,” Nicky began miserably, “Would you come out? I-I’ve made you something to eat.”

There was no answer. 

It has been a while since Neil’s seen Nicky look this distraught. Not since that day at his parents’ house. Not since Aaron’s trial. Not since… this. 

Nicky looked over to where Neil was sitting but his eyes burned through him just like it had for the past five days. 

Nicky breathed in heavily before stating, “Betsy’s here to see you,” and quickly walked away, leaving the door ajar in his wake.

The quiet sounds of the TV could be heard before Betsy came through the door and closed it shut.

Neil quickly got up out of his chair at the sight of her, knowing she’d take the chair for herself as she did every other time she came into this room.

This was all routine for Neil nowadays. 

Everyday he’d watch Andrew and everyday Betsy would come to check up on Andrew. 

As Neil settled on the end of Andrew’s bed he made sure to watch his face, not wanting to miss anything. Maybe Andrew would feel his presence, would know that Neil had never left him. Not by choice.

“Andrew.” Betsy said softly. She looked at him, gaze probing as if she could read his thoughts but Andrew had not taken his eyes off the door.

Betsy was understandably worried, as were all the foxes, Wymack and Abby. As was Neil. But he… he didn't count anymore.

She was the only one who knew how to deal with Andrew, so they all said. But even this was new for her.

“Aaron called me today,” Betsy said, no longer even trying to get a reaction. “He said you haven’t showered yet. That you threw the glass of water Nicky gave you earlier at the wall. Is that true?“ 

Neil could see that Andrew wasn’t taking anything in, lost in his own mind. Betsy could see that too.

She sighed and said, “Andrew, you know the set times we agreed on. Shower once a day, food in your stomach at least twice, talk to someone once a day for 5 minutes,” She folded her hands over one another as she continued, “You know our deal. You know I don’t want to take you anywhere, but if I see you’re not taking care of yourself...” she trailed off.

“If I think you’re at risk...” Betsy started again. 

Neil looked over at Andrew and could tell he was paying attention to where the conversation was heading. Neil knew Andrew wouldn’t want to go to any hospital. Not after what happened last time. 

“Can you tell me that you’re safe?” Betsy asked, face worried, tone calm. 

She made sure to ask Andrew this every time she visited. Neil didn’t know why when Andrew could easily lie to her and she wouldn’t know. But it was a trust exercise and Andrew, well, he trusted her. Or so he used to.

“Any thoughts of self-harm?” Betsy inquired, gazing deeply at Andrew who was yet to speak.

Andrew nodded once, slowly and with his eyes still fixated on the door. Betsy pursed her lips and nodded to herself.

“Any plans?” Betsy questioned seriously as she cocked her head to the side, leaning forward.

Andrew shook his head.

“Yes or no, Andrew?” Betsy asked evenly.

Andrew’s mouth twisted and Neil felt like he’d been struck. He could see some unnameable emotion in Andrew’s eyes that was gone a second later and knew the direction his thoughts had taken. Neil wanted to scream, to bang his fists against the wall because nothing was okay; Andrew wasn’t okay.

“No,” Andrew answered blankly, finally turning to stare at Betsy with empty eyes.

Betsy stared at him silently for about a minute. There was nothing more she could really say, that anyone could. She couldn't force Andrew. 

Andrew was grieving.

“Okay,” Betsy said, “Okay.”

Betsy made to stand up. “Andrew, could you try having something small to eat when I leave? Or maybe a shower will leave you more refreshed? One thing at a time okay.” 

Andrew ignored her and Neil sighed, wishing he could fix things and turn back time.

Neil watched Betsy make her way around the chair and stop just before she reached the door. She looked like she was thinking hard about something.

“Andrew,” She tried, voice softening, “I know Neil –“

“Don’t.” Andrew snapped harshly.

This was the first time Neil had seen Betsy like this, sympathy written over every inch of her face. Regret.

“Don’t what,” She asked softly. She looked like she already knew the answer before it left Andrew’s clenched teeth.

“Don’t say his name.” 

Betsy nodded, relenting, but Neil could see the relief in her eyes because Andrew responded with anger. It was the first time since Neil’s death that Andrew expressed any emotion that wasn’t apathy.

He was good at hiding. After all, he’d been doing it for years.

Betsy stopped with her hand on the door, “Same time tomorrow, Andrew. Take care of yourself.”

As she left, Betsy didn’t close the door, leaving it wide open; clearly a message for Andrew. 

There was silence for a few minutes as Neil watched Andrew. He didn’t know why he was still here, why he was able to watch Andrew like this. He wasn’t alive but he didn’t feel like he was dead either.

Andrew suddenly sat up, the covers pooled around his waist. Startled, Neil got up to sit right in front of Andrew, phantom hands floating above Andrew’s knees, staring into his eyes, eyes that looked as dead as Neil was.

Andrew’s hand ghosted up one of his own arms as he stared ahead, facing him. Neil glanced down to see Andrew pressing his fingers into his scars, tracing them.

“Andrew,” Neil whispered brokenly, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Not surprisingly, Andrew didn’t hear him.

They never got to say goodbye. It wasn’t like Neil’s thank you, you were amazing as he was taken away to meet his father. This was Andrew finding him in a pool of his own blood, burn marks scorching every bare inch of his face, bent legs and cut off fingers.

They never got to say goodbye.

Neil focused his eyes on Andrew’s, watching his face as he pressed into his arms.

Neil couldn’t take it.

“Please,” Neil breathed, “Please, Andrew, don’t.”

Andrew abruptly untangled himself out of his sheets and got up. He stood still as he glanced at the bed and then a few inches over where Neil was sitting.

Neil swallowed roughly.  _ Does he know? Can he see me? _

Then Andrew blinked and left the room on unsteady legs.

Neil closed his eyes in sharp disappointment. He’d do anything to take back what happened six days ago, anything if it could make Andrew stop being like this.

Shaking his head at himself, Neil lay down on the bed, waiting for Andrew when he suddenly heard something heavy drop.

Neil’s eyes snapped shut as he transported himself to the bathroom where Andrew was and slowly fell to his knees, gasping in horror at the sight before him. 

_ No no no no NO! _

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, waiting. 

The sound of Nicky's screams echoed through him when he and Kevin broke through the door. The sight of Aaron, sobbing and and- 

Neil felt a hand on his shoulder. 

He twisted around, shocked that someone could feel him, that he could feel them, that someone could see him, finally, but- 

It was Andrew.

**Author's Note:**

> Possible sequel in future or alternative ending, yall have to tell me if you want that tho x


End file.
